+Self-Confidence
(My Validation by Self)
Our
working definition of +Self-Confidence is:
Self-validated self-assurance; freedom from doubt; a belief in
yourself and your abilities to the point of trusting and relying on
yourself as you interact with others. The self-assurance that flows
from +Self-Confidence is ultimately manifested in one’s
ability to succeed by developing new skills and abilities, in
overcoming obstacles, and in achieving difficult/challenging goals.
Self-esteem and a healthy self-concept are precursors of +Self-Confidence
and represent the foundations upon which it is built.
Synonyms for +Self-Confidence are:
Self-assurance, Self-possession, Confidence, Poise, Belief in Self,
Inner Strength.
Where Does
Self–Confidence Come From?
For
others to have confidence in you, you must first have confidence in
yourself, and then behave in a manner that shows that confidence to
them. Others will naturally respond to your projected confidence, as
well as to your projected lack of confidence. Think of it this way,
if you reflect your confidence to them, they will give it back as
the impression they have of you.
The
Self-Confidence that comes from within yourself is based on
your own personal assessment of your skills, abilities and
accomplishments. It is also based upon your view of how others
assess your competencies, as the result of their observations of
your behaviors and interactions with you.
Therefore,
we can conclude that our Self-Confidence or “belief in self”
has its origins in three major areas:
-
the
reflections of the opinions of others,
-
your internal
assessment of the opinions of others about your competencies,
and finally,
-
your own opinion, in a given situation or circumstance, of the
adequacy of your personal inventory of skills, abilities, and
achievements.
Each of the three factors outlined above work together to influence
our Self-Confidence index at any given point in time. Thus,
the overall trust that others have in you, and the overall trust
that you have in yourself
is
impacted by the ebb and flow of the influences of each of these
factors – it is a dynamic, changing process.
The
good news is that all three are influenced by you and therefore
within your ability to control! As you examine the steps you can
take, you will see there are many things you can do to improve your
overall Self-Confidence. Let us begin that process by
considering the following thoughts.
Why is
Self-Confidence Important?
From
a Leadership perspective, Self-Confidence is critically
important. The answer to the question of why Self-Confidence
is such an important quality in a Leader can be illustrated through
the following analogy. Think of Self-Confidence as the fuel
injector on the engine that drives the will to act.
That engine
was built from the component parts of our personality that make up
our Self-Esteem and self-concept. It is started by a belief in self,
and then Self-Confidence revs the engine at high RPM using
the fuel present from the Leader’s substantive skills, and
demonstrated abilities.
In addition to an
abundance of Self-Confidence that must be demonstrated to the
satisfaction of potential followers, they are also seeking
reassurances that their aspiring leader has the requisite skills,
abilities, vision, tenacity, and character traits to lead
successfully.
Here
is a very important point to keep in mind. As we have elaborated, followers also need and are increasingly looking for the
demonstrated presence of such Leadership Values as Integrity,
Achievement, Responsibility, and Courage.
Visualizing
Success: Belief in One’s Self
"If
I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire
the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the
beginning."
Mahatma Gandhi
As
we develop our skills and abilities to the satisfaction of self and
in turn start to see them validated by others, something wonderful
happens! The belief in self that we call
Self-Confidence
begins to energize and stimulate our desire to excel, succeed, and
accomplish, to be more and to do more.
The internal
viewpoint we have on ourselves shifts from an inward focus on our
developing Self-Esteem and resulting Self-Concept, to an outward
focus on our emerging accomplishments and relationships with others.
The achievements and personal growth in social skills that comes
from those relationships begin to increasingly shape and drive our
Self-Confidence.
The stage is thus set for an Attitude of
Expectations as the next logical developmental stage.